5 Ways To Help Build Toto’s Confidence

African mother and daughter in a swimming pool

‘Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.’ Alvin Prince.

I remember growing up, my mom always used to let me have conversations with her colleagues whenever we met, especially if it was based on something I strongly believed in. She would let me ask the questions and would not interrupt. And then on our way home, she always told me how proud of me she was that I was able to hold my own with her friends. 

And I would say, “But this thing I said wasn’t right and they had to correct me”

And she would say, “But you learnt something new, yes?”

And I would say, “ Yes!”

How Did This Help Me? 

Well, as a shy young girl, my mother’s efforts towards building my confidence as a child have largely impacted the confident conversationalist that I am today.(Thanks mom!) So now, what are some of the other ways we can help build toto’s confidence?

1.Ask Them For Their Advice and Opinion. 
Yupp! Whether it’s what to cook for supper or what outfit to wear. Ask your kiddo for their opinion. Why is this important? You may wonder… As adults, when someone asks us for our opinion, we feel valued. The same applies to children. It makes them feel like they matter. 

For instance, in one of my nephew’s favourite shows on Akili Kids! Esme and Roy. Esme, a monster sitter, is always asking Tillie how she feels about certain games and activities. This in turn makes Tillie feel valued and appreciated. 

2. Let Them Lead.
It’s not easy! I constantly find myself taking over my nephew’s game, telling him what to do and how to do it. I am learning to take a step back and let Leshan call the shots during play time. This helps him believe in his abilities as he is given an opportunity to lead and make decisions. Kind of like how in, A Day As, on that episode where Skye, gets to spend the day with a designer from Akili Network, it was quite interesting to see Fitz allowing Skye to try out her own ideas and how empowered she felt as a result. (Go Fitz!) 

This takes us to our 3rd tip

3. Allow Them To Fail.
Naturally, as parents, we always want our kids to succeed and get things done correctly right from the first trial. Unfortunately, this is not possible. One way of building toto’s confidence is by being patient and allowing them to try, try again because when children develop expertise, it can grow confidence in their knowledge and build upon their self-worth.  Read more on this here.

4. Resist Comparing Toto to Others.
As Kanye West famously said, there’s always going to be someone who is better than us. But that does not mean we shouldn’t appreciate ourselves for who and what we are. Same, same with our children. The only way they can grow to appreciate their own unique talents and abilities is if we (try really hard to) resist comparing their capabilities others. Pretty much like how Bob the Builder, does it. Check it out, you may get a tip or ten. 

Then maybe you could come back and share what works for you? 

We’d be delighted to hear!